+15°C This is as warm as it gets in Finland, so we’ll start here. People in Spain wear winter-coats and gloves. The Finns are out in the sun, getting a tan.

+10°C The French are trying in vain to start their central heating. The Finns plant flowers in their gardens.

+5°C Italian cars won’t start, The Finns are cruising in cabriolets.

0°C Distilled water freezes. The water in Vantaa river (in Finland) gets a little thicker.

-5°C People in California almost freeze to death. The Finns have their final barbecue before winter.

-10°C The Brits start the heat in their houses. The Finns start using long sleeves.

-20°C The Aussies flee from Mallorca. The Finns end their Midsummer celebrations. Autumn is here.

-30°C People in Greece die from the cold and disappear from the face of the earth. The Finns start drying their laundry indoors.

-40°C Paris start cracking in the cold. The Finns stand in line at the hotdog stands.

-50°C Polar bears start evacuating the North Pole. The Finnish army postpones their winter survival training awaiting real winter weather.

-60°C Korvatunturi (home of Santa Claus) freezes. The Finns rent a movie and stay indoors.

-70°C The false Santa moves south. The Finns get frustrated since they can’t store their Kossu (Koskenkorva vodka) outdoors. The Finnish army goes out on winter survival training.

-183°C Microbes in food don’t survive. The Finnish cows complain that the farmers’ hands are cold.

-273.15°C ALL atom-based movement halts. The Finns start saying “Perkele (=damn), it’s cold outside today.”

-300°C Hell freezes over, Finland wins the Eurovision Song Contest.

-Author Unknown